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cheeseball improv love

On March 9th I was "involved" (my fault) in a pretty major 3-car accident here in glamorous Hollywood. Everyone was pretty much ok, but my car was totaled, and I was soon thrown into DMV/Insurance/Buying a used car/Borrowing money from my parents/Guilt Spiral hell. After a few days of wallowing, I decided to use my improv training at every chance I could get. I would use my humor, yes-and, and giving the other person what I thought they needed skills. I realized that everyone invlolved in this car-accident world was probably really used to people being upset, felling out of control, and really angry. I wondered if I made a really active effort to be out of the ordinary and kind what would happen. I would write a thank you note and a letter of commendation to the awesomely calm and caring official police tow truck guy. I would make all the insurance dudes fall in love with me. I would get the guy I was buying the used car from to want to give me a deal. I would get the chick at the DMV to smile, and explain to me what exactly was going on. I would be warm and joke and listen. I yes anded the shit out of this week.

And as I faxed my last paper off to Allstate this afternoon at Kinkos, the dude behind the counter recognized me from my several visits in the past few weeks, smiled. Anyone who has ever visited the Glendale Kinkos knows that this is unusual. "I'm all done!" I proclaimed. "Congrats!" he said. And he seemed to be genuinely happy for me.

I made it through this chapter. I already knew before this month that being a grown-up blows, but being able to bring childlike playful yes-Andyness and use it to do awful grown-up draggy crap, man, I feel triumphant. And maybe being a grown-up is doable.

Day of romance.

(Andy and Jeff are playing Gin Rummy and drinking champagne)
Andy: There's really not enough trash talk going on.
Jeff: Trash talk? How dare you. I am a gentleman. (pause) And you are a two-dollar whore who can't play cards.


I just saw an ad for Panama that made it seem like if you go to Panama without a hat, a bird will shit on you. Why is it not on youtube? Someone help me. Also, help the guy that went to Panama without a hat.

Hey, you think you're talented...

Hey, you think you can cook, why don't you make a meal for Julia Child?

You fancy yourself a guitar player, how about strummin' a tune for Jimmi Hendrix?

Your music videos are pretty awesome. Would you like to make one for Michelle Gondry?

That speach you made the other day was delightful. Why don't you perform it for Barack Obama?

Hey Andy, you fancy yourself a funny lady. Why don't you ref a goofy-ass ComedySportz match for BILLY FUCKING CRYSTAL?

um, ok.

That is what I did tonight.

I wanted to tell him how much I love Soap, but I didn't.


Hey guys. I'm tumbling.

That's where I am. Tumbling. I love it. it suits me. Please visit.
I just don't seem to have it in me to write much these days.
Ho Hum.


Merry Christmas!

anxiety and improv

Just was reading Danny's blog and responded with this. Thought I would share.

My theory about people that suffer from anxiety that can somehow rock the improv, is this: Onstage, performing in front of a crowd, thinking fast, is the only time someone who suffers from anxiety is truly in the moment. Because there isn't time for anxiety. Once you hit the stage, you are forced to think of what comes next at that very instant, not the night before, lying in bed. Or pacing about the apartment with hot beverage in hand. For me improv is a vacation from my anxiety. This is why, I think we (anxious people) love performing, even though it seems strange. It is a luxurious break from worry . A break that I can't get as purely anywhere else in my life. Not with drugs, not with entertainment, not even really with family or loved ones. I must be forced into a state of being present by the audience. By the performance. I am not saying that performing is my only pleasure in life, but it serves a specific function that really can't be duplicated in any other form. Anyhoo, that's just my theory. It is true for me.